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发表于 2001-11-29 05:43
NewsBank InfoWeb
Chicago Tribune
芝加哥论坛报
Chicago Tribune
December 24, 2000
A DAUGHTER'S HAND TOUCHES A MOTHER'S HEART
女儿的手触动了母亲的心
Author (作者): Marybeth Lambe. Special to the Tribune. Marybeth Lambe is a freelance writer and family practice doctor who lives in Redmond, Wash. (作者是芝加哥论坛报的特约自由作家和华盛顿州Redmond市的一名家庭医生)
Edition: Chicagoland Final
Section: Health & Family
Page: 1
Index Terms:
PARENT
CHILD
FAMILY
HANDICAPPED
ANECDOTE
Article Text:
文章:
Parenting eight children is a struggle at best, and sometimes, sometimes I just blow it.
养育八个孩子是人生最好的挑战. 有时候, 我是说有时候我也做错事情.
Our family includes three children adopted, at an older age, from China. Each of them had waited many years for a forever family. But a handicap or an illness and, eventually, their age had caused them to be passed over. MeiMei arrived home a year ago, her only special needs a missing left hand and mild hepatitis B.
我们的家庭包括三名从中国领养来的孩子. 他们来的时候年龄都比较大了, 因为没有一个适合的家庭接纳他们, 他们都等了很久. 但是残疾, 疾病, 事实上年龄的长大都使他们失去多次机会. 美美是一年前来到我家的, 她唯一比别人不足的是轻度感染乙肝和失去了左手.
Right now MeiMei is tugging at my shirt, whispering urgently, but all I notice is the loud pounding coming from the boys' room. Are they trying to dig through the floor? I pat MeiMei absently on her head, my attention already focused on whatever chaos the boys are creating.
此刻, 美美正揪着我的衣角, 在我耳边着急地小声小叨地说着什么. 但是我的注意力却在另一个房间, 我拍了拍美美的头, 想去弄清楚男孩子们在捣什么鬼.
"I'll be right back, honey," I assure her, barely registering her crestfallen expression.
“我就回来, 宝贝” 我和她说, 并没有注意到她沮丧的面孔.
"But, but...." She trails off sadly.
“可是…” 她紧跟着我不高兴地说.
But ... I am already gone, racing down the hall to investigate the ominous sounds. As I fling the door open the three boys give me wide grins. Six-year-old Shen Bo flashes his smile as he catapults through the air. Up, up, off the bed, his trajectory carries him perilously close to the window. He lands in a neat somersault, rolling hard into the wall. The window glass shudders and the pictures dance sideways on their nails.
可是…我已经离去, 冲下楼梯想搞清楚吵闹声的来源. 我把房门打开正见到六岁大的申波在床上跳上跳下. 他见到我一下滑下床边撞到紧挨着窗户的墙上, 震得窗户哗哗响, 墙上的照片都歪倒.
John and Yuanjun must interpret my slack-jaw look of horror as one of excitement because they launch themselves as well--right on top of Shen Bo. Bits of plaster flutter down from the ceiling. They are laughing madly and looking back at me for . . . what? Approval? Wild applause?
约翰和元军一定是被我的出现吓到, 他们一起摔倒在申波的身上. 天花板上的墙灰都震落下来. 我搞不清楚为什么他们望着我大笑? 让我赞成, 鼓掌叫好?
After inhaling, or I should say, gasping, I shriek the time-honored phrase of all parents: "Are you crazy? You could have gone out the window! You could have been killed!"
大吸一口气, 我象大多数父母一样对他们喊道, “你们发疯了? 你们会摔倒窗外摔死的.”
Still clutching my chest, I sink dramatically to the floor. John and Yuanjun gather round me with sheepish expressions but Shen Bo has, once again, missed the point. He leaps back on the bed and calls out. "Let's see if I can jump to the ceiling!"
喊得我胸口隐隐作痛, 我蹲了下来. 约翰和元军围了上来用羞怕的眼神看着我. 只有申波还搞不清状况躺在床上喊, “试试看我可不可以跳到天花板上.”
Kindly, his older brothers wrestle him back to the ground. Yuanjun is sitting on Shen Bo, my wild child, scolding him. "You are scaring the mommy!"
哥哥们把申波按在地上. 元军坐在申波-我最淘气的孩子-的身上说, “你把妈妈吓坏了!”
Indignantly, Shen Bo pushes himself upright. His lower lip juts out and he is pointing at John. "It was all his idea! I told him we should just jump off the desk but he said to jump off the bed!"
申波把元军推开. 噘着嘴巴指着他说道, “都是他的主意. 我只是和他讲从书桌上跳, 他说从床上跳的.”
As I rest my face in my hands, trying to decide whether to laugh or cry, a small hand pokes me in the back. It is MeiMei, her face still serious and worried. "We were having a talk, remember?" She glares at her brothers.
当我双手托着脸正想决定是哭还是笑. 一只小手在我背后捅了我一下. 是美美, 还是一脸的严肃表情. “我们刚才正在谈论问题, 对不对?” 他偷偷盯着她的哥哥们对我说.
Shen Bo has used the interruption to climb back on the bed, and is bouncing tentatively, looking over his shoulder for my reaction.
申波趁机又爬到床上, 跳了一跳, 并观察我的反应.
MeiMei is wearing one of her big sister's nightgowns. The sleeves dangle far past her wrists and her little legs are wrapped in folds of extra cloth. She looks like a sad little waif. Clearly, something important is on her mind.
美美穿着她姐姐的睡袍. 袖子超过她的腰部, 袍低托在地上裹住两双小腿. 看上去像一位流浪儿童. 但是, 可以看出她脑子里有什么重要的事情.
This is where I blow it again. "MeiMei," I implore. " lease get back into bed. I'll be there in a minute to tuck you in."
这里又是一点我处理错事情的地方. “美美,” 我说道, “赶快回去睡觉. 我马上会去帮你盖好被子.”
Her brown eyes widen and she sniffs loudly.
她棕色的眼睛张大, 用鼻子发出不不的声音.
"lease?" I beg her. "You can look at a book till I get there." She shuffles out and I round on the boys, already forgetting MeiMei's sad expression.
”拜托你了?” 我央求着她. “你可以现自己看书, 我马上就到.” 美美慢慢吞吞地离去. 我又回过头来看男生们在干吗, 已经忘记美美一副不高兴的样子.
Twenty minutes go by while I watch the boys remake the beds, clumsily tucking the heavy blankets back under the mattress and clearing the anarchy of their room. For a moment, I allow myself the vision of one of them tumbling through the second-story window. I see them falling onto the concrete below. Too terrible to hold in my mind's eye, I release the image and sit down with them for a long talk.
20多分钟过去了, 一边看着男生们收拾房间, 一边想象要是他们真的从窗户摔除去那就太晚了. 我坐了下来决定和男生们长谈了一下.
When I am done putting the chastised boys to bed, it is late. MeiMei's sister Emma Rose has fallen asleep next to her. I bend to turn the lamp out but MeiMei stirs. Her eyes are wet with tears.
当我把男生们安顿睡好, 美美的姐姐爱玛已经睡熟. 我正要把灯关上美美翻身过来, 双眼充满泪水.
"Oh, sweetie," I whisper. Guilt makes my voice crack. "What's wrong?"
”哦, 甜心,” 我耳语到. 一种自责感让我的声音变调. “什么不对了?”
My presence opens the floodgates. Her tears turn into racking sobs. Her nose runs and she gasps air as though she has been running for miles. Amazingly, Emma Rose, inches away, never moves and her soft snores are in stark contrast to MeiMei's sudden wrenching cries.
我的出现似乎打开了闸门. 她号啕大哭起来. 奇怪的是她的哭声并没有惊动爱玛.
I am an idiot. MeiMei has been holding this in all evening, waiting for me to release her from this agony, whatever it is. For now, she cannot talk. Her tears soak into my shirt as I wait.
我真是个废物. 美美一晚上都要和我讲什么, 现在她哭得不能说话. 眼泪把我的衬衣都湿掉.
Fourteen-year-old Sara wanders in holding the phone out. "It's for you," she announces, oblivious to the scene before her.
14岁的萨瑞奇怪地拿着电话. “是你的,” 她对我说道.
"Not now!" Guilt makes my voice harsh.
”不接!” 我内疚地说道.
Still Sara pushes the telephone toward me. She is chewing gum and humming a rap song under her breath.
但是萨瑞还是把电话一直推过来. 她一边咬着口香糖一边唱着黑人的说唱调.
"Tell them I'll call back later!" Is she blind? I motion toward the sodden bundle in my arms. MeiMei's sobs have subsided into hiccups.
”和他们讲我等一下打回去!” 她看不见呀. 我怀抱着还在抽泣的美美呢.
Sara rolls her eyes, snapping her gum loudly. "Whatever." With a dramatic sigh she speaks loudly into the telephone. "She won't talk," she tells the mystery caller. "You'll have to try her tomorrow." Click. Sara saunters out, singing the lyrics loudly now. Emma Rose sleeps on.
萨瑞翻着眼睛, 口香糖在她嘴里发出啪的一声. “随你便.” 她冲着电话喊道, “她不接电话,” “你明天在打给她吧.” 萨瑞离开了, 她歌唱的更大了声了. 爱玛还在睡着.
At last MeiMei can speak. I give her the time--the listening--she has been waiting for all evening.
最后美美能说话了. 我给她时间让她讲出一晚上想说出的话.
"When I get older, I get bigger, right?" She waits for my nod.
“当我长大的时候, 我会变得高大, 对吗?” 美美等着我点头.
"And my feet get bigger, and my arms, and my head, and, and . . . well, everything, right?"
”我的脚会长大, 胳臂, 头, 还有…每样东西, 对吗?”
"That's right, MeiMei. You'll get taller, maybe taller than Mommy." Foolishly, I have not yet seen where this is headed.
” 对呀, 美美. 你会长比妈妈长的还要高.” 愚蠢的我根本没有发觉话题回转到那.
She pulls back on the long sleeves of the nightgown: one hand, its nails painted bright purple; the other hand, her little hand, has mere stubs for fingers.
她从长袖下伸出一只小手, 指甲上涂着淡紫色的指甲油. 另外一只手没有手指只有小肉球.
"Well, I thought--" She pauses and swipes at her eyes. "Well, I wanted, I thought . . . my little hand--"
“我想—“ 她停顿了一下, 擦了擦她的眼睛. “我想要, 我想…我的小手—“
She can't go on. Finally I help her. "You thought your little hand would grow into a big hand?"
她说不上来. 最后我帮她说出来, “你想让你的手长成一只有手指的大手?”
It must be a wonder that her foolish, foolish mother has caught on at last. She gives me such a look of trust, of love, of wonder at my brilliance.
是不是因为她愚蠢的妈妈最终明白了. 对于我的聪明答案, 她用信任, 热爱和奇怪的眼神看着我.
"Yes," she whispers. "How did you know?"
”对呀,” 她耳语道, “你怎么会知道?”
All night I have pushed her away. I don't deserve this kindness, this faithfulness. Now my tears come.
整个晚上我都把她推却掉. 我真的不应该拥有她对我的看心和真诚. 我的泪水也留了出来.
MeiMei misinterprets my tears. "Did you think my little hand would get big too?"
美美帮我擦去眼泪, “你认为我的手指会长大吗?”
"No." Time for honesty. "Your hand will grow some but it will always be smaller."
”不会.” 是讲实话的时候了. “你的手会长大但不会很大.”
She holds it out and examines it. "No fingers?" She looks up at me; so much hope in those words.
她把手伸出来看着. “没有指头?” 她盯着我; 字里行间充满了希望.
What a beast I am, how hard to dim that hope. "No, no. I don't think so."
我真不知道怎样对他讲. “不, 不会, 我想不会有指头的.”
She bows her head, inhales sharply, absorbing the pain. I hold her and we rock together, comforting each other. Emma snorts in her sleep and rolls toward us both. Emma's long brown fingers come to rest on MeiMei's pillow. We both look sadly at those beautiful hands.
看着爱玛伸在枕头上漂亮的双手. 我抱着美美摇来摇去希望能安慰她一下.
MeiMei is ready to tell me the hardest part.
美美这时和我讲了另外一件最难过的事情.
"I thought they would both grow, both my hands. And I would play the piano like Emma does, maybe better. With both hands, I would play it."
”我以为我的双手会长大. 我会象爱玛一样弹钢琴, 用两只手, 我会弹好的.”
Silly for me to assure her she can play one-handed. We have already contacted the piano teacher, knowing MeiMei's desire to play. But I would be missing her point, failing her one more time this evening.
我们已经和钢琴老师交涉过, 谈到美美相练琴. 我不能和她保证她可以用一只手弹. 但我又不想让她今晚再失望一次.
No, much as I wish, this is not time to cover her grief with my plans. How hard it is to let our children have their sorrow. MeiMei's little hand, Emma's mourning for her birth mother, Yuanjun wishing for his baby brother left behind in Shanghai.
我不能因为我的计划遮掩了她的悲伤. 当儿童有伤心事是多么艰难的事情呀. 美美的小手, 爱玛怀念他死去的母亲, 元军对他在上海弟弟的祝愿.
A child's tears are agony for a parent. We distract the pain away, we try to jolly them and we tell them why their pain is not so bad. We bleed for our children. If we can get them to stop crying, to stop looking sad, we can pretend the grief is no longer there.
孩子的泪水是父母的苦恼. 我们都是要让他们高兴多一点, 尽量告诉他们他们的悲伤不会很差. 如果他们欢天喜地, 我们知道他们的悲哀不在了.
But finally, at the end of that long evening, I did something right. I held her till the tears stopped, till some measure of peace crept back into her soul. I don't know what it feels like to have only one hand and to want, to desperately want, to play the piano like her big sister Emma Rose. Two hands, flying wildly over the keys; making music to set us all dancing. To clap two hands loudly, to play the violin like her sister Sara, to bang the drumsticks like John.
但是, 在结束今天晚上的末了, 我还是做了一件对的事情. 最起码今晚我和她一起分但了她的悲哀. 我不知道只有一只手的人想和姐姐一样弹钢琴是什么心情. 两只手, 在钢琴键盘上飞舞. 两只手, 拍手鼓掌, 象萨瑞一样拉小提琴, 象约翰一样击鼓.
I didn't say: "You can play just as well with one hand." Even if it is true, even if I know she can make wild, soaring music with one hand and a bony little wrist. It wasn't the time to speak such words. After my evening of scolding the boys, of pushing MeiMei away, I at least knew that one truth.
我并没有和她讲. “你可以一个手弹好.” 万一她可以弹得很好. 但现在也不是讲这种话的时候.
Tomorrow we would discuss the piano teacher's plans. Tomorrow, we would begin to find ways to make music on the violin. Tonight I did something I had been stumbling over all evening. I let a child cry and held her grief close to my heart. I let her be heard. MeiMei gave me a greater gift. I was bumbling and busy, and still she trusted me with her tears.
明天我们将和钢琴老师再讨论一下这个问题. 明天我们将寻找在小提琴上拉出音乐的途径.今晚我起码让她吐露了心声. 美美是我的一个美好的礼物. 我虽然忙忙碌碌, 但是她还是把痛苦附之于我.
Sometimes, as a parent, you do not reach for grace. If you are lucky, as I was tonight, a small child lifts you up and carries you there.
有的时候, 作为一位家长, 你不会去接触到美德, 仙境. 如果你幸运, 象我今晚一样, 你的孩子会将你抬起带到那里去.
Caption:
PHOTOS (color): Marybeth Lambe (above) with her daughter MeiMei, who was adopted from China. A family photo shows Brendan Levy (back row, from left), Sara Levy, John Levy and Marybeth Lambe and Emma Levy (front row, from left), Shumei Levy, MeiMei Levy, Yuanjun Levy and Shen Bo Levy. Photo for the Tribune by Jay Drowns.
PHOTO (color): Despite special needs that included a missing left hand and mild hepatitis B, MeiMei Levy found a home, and an adoptive mother's love and attention, about a year ago.PHOTOS 3
(照片未登出)
尽管失去左手, 患有乙肝, 美美找到了她的家, 特别是一个领养母亲的爱.
Record Number: CTR0012240326
*美美的亲生母亲因为患有乙肝孕期滥用中成药. 造成美美失去手指;
多少女婴, 残疾儿童被抛弃;
多少病患者, 如乙肝病人被歧视;
多少医生对病人不关心乱用药;
社会大众应该象这位美国母亲一样多一点点爱心!
谢谢阅读.
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