Jokes (12/17/01)

liver411

Joke  #1



Winter Advisory...

Be sure and buy as many wool blankets as you can for this

coming winter.



There is going to be a shortage of afghans.  



  





Joke  #2



Memo from bin laden found in abandoned cave.  



From: bin Laden, Osama

Sent: Tuesday, Dec. 11, 8:17 AM



To: Cave-mates



Subject: The Cave



Hi guys:



We've all been putting in long hours but we've really

come together as a group and I love that.



Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says,

"There is no I in team" as well as the one that

says, "Hang In There, Baby." That cat is hilarious.



However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget

to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns.



First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise

missiles, we should be even more concerned about the

scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't want to be stung,

and neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave daily.

I've posted a sign-up sheet near the main cave opening.



Second, it's not often I make a video address, but when I do,

I'm trying to scare the most powerful country on Earth, OK?

That means that, while we're taping, please do not ride your

scooter around in the background.



Just while we're taping. Thanks.



Third: Food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently,

clearly wrote "Osama" on the front, and put it on the

top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone.



Consideration. That's all I'm saying.



Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers

in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up

patrols to look for them.



First patrol will be Omar, Abdul, Muhammad, Akbar and Dave.



Love you lots,



Osama



(from National Post)







Joke  #3



CHOCOLATE MATHEMATICS

This is pretty neat how it works out. This is cool chocolate math!!!!!!

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It only takes about a minute.....



Work this out as you read. Be sure you don't read the bottom until

you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things,

it's fun.





1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would

like to have chocolate. (try for more than once but less than 10)



















2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold)























3. Add 5 (for Sunday)























4. Multiply it by 50 (being a bit stupid)



I'll wait while you get the calculator...........................





















5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1751.....



If you haven't, add 1750...........

























6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

(if you remember)































You should have a three digit number....................

























The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many

times you want to have chocolate each week).







The next two numbers are your age.







This is the only year (2001) it will ever work, so spread

it around while it lasts!  Impressive isn't it?