english joke

zephyr

eaching the end of a job interview, the Technical Recruiter asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The recruiter said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the recruiter replied, "Yes, but you started it."

zephyr

For 27 years, Mr. Jones had arrived at work at 9 a.m. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when 9 a.m. passed without Mr. Jones' arrival, it caused a bit of a sensation. Work stopped, and the boss himself, looking at his watch and mumbling to himself, came out into the commons area.

Finally, Jones showed up at 10:15 a.m. His clothes were rumpled and torn, his face scratched and bruised, and his glasses frames twisted, one lens broken.

He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, "I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly killed myself."

And the boss asked, "It took you an hour and 15 minutes to roll down two flights of stairs?

zephyr

I Can Guess Your Job

A man was flying in a hot air balloon and realized he was lost. He reduced height and spotted a man down below. He lowered the balloon further and shouted, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below said, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must be an engineer," replied the balloonist.

"I am," said the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," the balloonist said, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of absolutely no use to me."

The man below said, "You must be in management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going; you're in the same position you were in before we met, ... but now it's my fault."

zephyr

3 ladies were on a flight. Suddenly the pilot
informed them that there was a
technical problem and the plane was going to crash into the sea.
A Chinese lady quickly took her cosmetics set out and started to doll
herself up.
A Malay lady beside her questioned her on her actions. The Chinese lady
replied that if she looked beautiful, the guys coming to rescue
survivors
would usually save the pretty ladies first ,On hearing this, the Malay
lady
started to put on all her jewellery.
An Indian woman sitting beside the Malay lady was curious and
questioned
her.
The Malay lady said that the rescuers would save her because she would
easily be identified by the glitter of her jewels.
Then the Indian woman started taking her clothes off.  Both the Chinese
and
Malay ladies were shocked and questioned her.The Indian woman then
replied
that rescue teams do not usually look for survivors.
They usually look for the "Black Box" first!

liverbj

hohoho！
funny。