revelation

Archie: Which hand do you stir your coffee with?

Alfie: My right, of course.

Archie: I use a spoon.

  
====================
archi:你用那支手搅动咖啡。
altie:当然是我的右手。
archi:我用一只汤匙。

liverbj

“Aren’t you ashamed of yourself, Victor? You’re the worst pupil in your class.” Said the father.

“What’s that got to do with me? Is it my fault that the worst one was yesterday transferred to another school?” was the answer.
“维克多，你是班里最差的学生。你不觉得害臊吗？”爸爸说。

“这能怨我吗？谁让昨天最差的一个转到另一所学校去了。”维克多回答。

liverbj

The father was reading the school-report which had just been handed to him by his hopful son. His brow was wrathful as he read:
　　
　　“English, poor; French, weak; mathematics, fair;” and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad.
　　
　　“Well, dad,” said the son, “it is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?” and he pointed to the next line, which read: “Health, excellent.”
　　
　　父亲在看他那满怀希望的儿子带回来的学校成绩单，他边看边露出愤怒的表情：“英语，差；法语，差；数学，中。”他厌恶地瞥了在发抖的儿子一眼。
　　“爸爸，”儿子说，“可能成绩不够理想，但您看到那一项了吗？”他指了指下一行：“健康状况，优。”

[此贴子已经被liverbj于2002-12-2 17:08:13编辑过]

liverbj

“Is ink so very expensive, father?”
　　“Why, no, what makes you think so?”
　　“Well, mother seems quite disturbed because I spilled some on the carpet.”
　　
　　“爸爸，墨水很贵吗？”
　　“不贵啊，你为什么这么想？”
　　“哦，我把墨水洒了一点在地毯上，妈妈好象挺着急似的。”

liverbj

easy的dayly joke也不见更新了。
我来吧

A mother bought her son a 99 dollars Halloween costume to scare his friends. “Should I take the price tag off?” the boy asked.
　　
　　“Leave it on,” his mother replied. “We’ll scare your father too.”
　　
　　为了让儿子吓唬他的朋友，妈妈花了99元给他买了一套万圣节晚上穿的服装。“我把这价格标签拿下来吧？”男孩吗？
　　“别拿下来，”妈妈回答。“我们也来吓唬你爸爸一下。”

liverbj

My teenage son was at that rebellious stage when a parent’s endorsement of anything is the kiss of death. So I was pleased he asked me to help him pick a shirt to wear to a party. On his bed were the choices: blue, white and beige.
　　“I like the blue one,” I said.
　　“What’s your second choice?”
　　“The white one.”
　　“Thanks,” he said and put on the beige shirt.
　　
　　我那十来岁的儿子正是爱顶牛的年龄，父母说东他偏往西。一次他要去参加一个晚会，请我帮他选一件衬衫。这可把我乐坏了。他床上有几件衬衫：蓝的，白的和米色的。
　　“我喜欢蓝的。”我说。
　　“你第二喜欢的是哪件？”
　　“白的。”
　　“多谢了。”他说完便穿上了那件米色的衬衫。

liverbj

Geoffrey says to his father (who is looking at his son's report card). "So I don't get the highest marks in the class, do you get the highest salary in the office?"
杰弗里对爸爸说(爸爸正在看儿子的成绩单)：“我在班里没有拿到最高的成绩，那你在单位里拿到最高的薪水了吗？”

liverbj

Mr. Brown was reading his evening paper when there came a tremendous banging down the stairs. He jumped up, ran to the hall, and discovered his schoolboy son sprawled on the floor.
　　“Did you miss a step?” asked his dad.
　　“No, I caught every blessed one!” came the bitter answer.
　　
　　布朗先生在看晚报，忽然传来一阵什么东西从楼上摔下去的响声。他跳了起来，跑到厅里，发现自己上了学的儿子四脚朝天地躺在地上。
　　“你是不是踩漏了一级台阶？”爸爸问。
　　“不，我每一级都撞上了，一级也没有漏掉！”儿子痛苦地回答。

liverbj

Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.
　　
　　“I’m afraid we can’t afford one,” sighed his mother.
　　
　　But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.
　　
　　“How on earth did you pay for that?” gasped his mother.
　　
　　“Easy, Mum,” replied Amos, “I sold the television!”
　　
　　艾莫斯问妈妈他们是否能买一台录像机。
　　“恐怕我们还买不起，”妈妈叹息着说。
　　可第二天当艾莫斯回来时，他摇摇晃晃地搬着一台全新的录像机。
　　“你究竟是哪儿来的钱买这东西？”妈妈大吃一惊，喘着气说。
　　“妈妈，这简单，”艾莫斯回答。“我把电视机给卖了！”

liverbj

“Larry! Come here!”” said his furious mother, putting the telephone down, “I’ve just had a call from Mrs. Harrison about your behavior to her Doris at the school dance last night, You wretched, rude boy!”
　　
　　“I was nice to her, Mum, really I was!” protested the youth.
　　
　　“I even paid her a compliment when we had a dance.”
　　
　　“Did you, indeed?” said his mother grimly, “And what exactly did you say?”
　　
　　“I said, Gosh, Doris, you sweat less than any fat girl I’ve ever danced with!”
　　
　　“拉里，你过来！”妈妈放下电话后生气地说，“我刚才接到哈里森夫人的电话，她告诉我你在昨晚的学校舞会上对多丽丝行为不好，你可耻，粗鲁！”
　　“妈妈，我对她很好，真的！”小伙子不服气地说。“当我和她跳舞时我还说了一句恭维她的话。”
　　“你真的这么做的吗？”妈妈严厉地问。“你的原话是怎么说的？”
　　“我说，啊呀，多丽丝，你比和我跳过舞的任何胖姑娘出汗都少！”