肝胆相照论坛

标题: 准备给世界卫生组织的部门写英文信！水平有限，求指正 [打印本页]

作者: jackylee123 时间: 2009-8-30 01:59 标题: 准备给世界卫生组织的部门写英文信！水平有限，求指正

Dear Sr./Miss,
I was born in 1970s in China. Because of the poor medical treatment equipment in 1970s in China, I became a Hepatitis B carrier with the contaminated medical instruments.
As we know, there are 120,000,000 people who are Hepatitis B carrier in China. But lots of people don’t know that those people were discriminated because of Hepatitis B carrier. Lots of companies, maybe all of companies in China, even the government, require the candidates providing an assessment of health check-up. The health check-up must include HBsAg, HBsAb, HBeAg, HBeAb, HBcAb. If the report is HBsAg negative Hepatitis B patient, that mains you will lose you job. The companies will refuse to give the offer to you. Lots of affaires like this are happened every day. Even if you are lucky to get an offer, the private secret of you health will be told to all of your collages by HR. Then, your collages will look at you just like a monster, they will refuse to accept you as a member of theirs, and they will keep distance as will as they can. They refuse to talk with you, eat with you, even breathe with you. That mains you are discriminated. According to a survey,80% of WOFE(外商独资企业）discriminate the Hepatitis B carriers when they recruit new menbers in China.But they don't do that in other countries.
The government has promulgated a lot of laws to forbid discrimination towards Hepatitis B carriers in work-place in the past few years. But the officials of MOH refuse to cancel the HBsAG check. So the discrimination becomes more and more seriousness, and the situation of the carriers becomes worse and worse. We just want a job like another people, we want to live just like a human being. But, where is the paradise of the carriers.
Hope you can pay lots of attention to the situation of the carriers in China. We hope that MOH of China will cancel the Hepatitis B check when we have a pre-employment medical check-up.

Best regards,

A Hepatitis B carrier of China

由于小弟英语水平有限，拜托英语好的战友帮指正一下。我准备给世界卫生组织的写信，希望得到他们的关注。如果有弟兄也想写，可参考以下邮箱。
For TV and radio interviews
Please use contact information listed. If the officer cannot be reached and the matter is urgent, contact:
Telephone: +41 22 791 2222

WHO TO CONTACT
Chris Black
[email protected]

Communications officers in the WHO regions
WHO Regional Office for Africa
Brazzaville, Republic of Congo
Sam Ajibola
[email protected]

WHO Regional Office for the Americas
Washington D.C., USA
Daniel Epstein
[email protected]

WHO Regional Office for Europe
Copenhagen, Denmark
Liuba Negru
[email protected]

WHO Regional Office for the Eastern Mediterranean
Cairo, Egypt
Omid Mohit
[email protected]

WHO Regional Office for South-East Asia
New Delhi, India
Vismita Gupta-Smith
[email protected]

WHO Regional Office for the Western Pacific
Manila, Philippines
Peter Cordingley
[email protected]

[ 本帖最后由 jackylee123 于 2009-8-30 02:24 编辑 ]

作者: 雨花石 时间: 2009-8-30 02:28

支持你！只是我英语没你好。希望我的顶贴能引来真正的英语高手。

作者: hbver-huaweia 时间: 2009-8-30 07:46

where is the paradise of the carriers.
后面加个？
want a job like another people~~~like another non HBV-carrier people
··········
贻笑大方~~呵呵

作者: jackylee123 时间: 2009-8-30 10:15

谢谢LS，求英语高手指正啊！！！

作者: freelf 时间: 2009-8-30 10:43

我的英语也不行。建议去英语板块发一下

作者: 锄头 时间: 2009-8-30 12:12 标题: 英语不咋样，壮着胆修改了一下！

Dear Sr./Miss,
Please pardon my presumption in writing to you, I am a carrier of Hepatitis B virus from China and want to ask for your help and care to own the same right of work and study like those people who are not the carriers of Hepatitis B virus in China.
As you know, there are about 130 million HBV carriers in China, about 10 percent of China's total population. Unfortunately, these sufferers frequently face discrimination all aspects of life and work. For example, many Chinese employers and universities refuse to accept anyone who tests positive. Some kindergartens refuse admission to children who are carriers of the virus. The largest problem facing Chinese people infected with the HBV is that illegal blood testing is required by most employers in China. Anyone that tests positive for HBV is either denied employment or fired. Laws do exist to protect the privacy of employees and job seekers but they are not enforced. The government also refuses to cancel the blood testing for HBV.
Currently, the discrimination becomes more and more serious, and the surviving situation of the carriers becomes worse and worse. According to the survey from "In the Hepatitis B Camp" [www.hbvhbv.com|, over 50 % of the HBV carriers suffer from the discrimination in item of seeking job.
Most of the carriers, including me, think that the best way of eliminating the discrimination is to cancel the blood testing for HBV in the case of the physical examination for work and study. Would you like to help us to supervise the MOH of China as soon as makes law of cancelling the blood for HBV to protect the work and study right of the HBV carriers in China？

Best regards,

A Hepatitis B carrier of China

[ 本帖最后由锄头于 2009-8-30 12:14 编辑 ]

作者: 寻找活路 时间: 2009-8-30 23:49

写的非常好，自叹不如，
"these sufferers frequently face discrimination all aspects of life and work"是否应加个from，改为"these sufferers frequently face discrimination from all aspects of life and work"

“Some kindergartens refuse admission to children who are carriers of the virus.”是否改为“Some kindergartens refuse to accept those children who are HBV carriers.”

“The largest problem facing Chinese people infected with the HBV is that illegal blood testing is required by most employers in China”是否改为"The largest problem facing Chinese people infected with the HBV is that illegal blood testing is required in pre-employment or annual physical exam of most companies and most government organs in China"
贻笑大方~~呵呵

作者: tantrum 时间: 2009-8-31 00:08 标题: 小改了点语法和单词拼写，支持楼主

Dear Sr./Miss,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Dear Sir or Madam
I was born in 1970s in China. Because of the poor medical treatment equipment in 1970s in China, I became a Hepatitis B carrier with the contaminated medical instruments.
As we know, there are 120,000,000 people who are Hepatitis B carrier in China. But lots of people don’t know that those people were discriminated because of Hepatitis B carrier. Lots of companies, maybe all of companies in China, even the government, require the candidates providing an assessment of health check-up. The health check-up must  include HBsAg, HBsAb, HBeAg, HBeAb, HBcAb. If the report is HBsAg negative Hepatitis B patient, that mains you will lose you job. The companies will refuse to give the offer to you. Lots of affaires like
                                 ~~~~means                                                          ~~~~~~~~affairs
this are happened every day. Even if you are lucky to get an offer, the private secret of you health will be told to all of your collages by
   ~~~~~~~~~~~happens                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~privacy~~public 同事是colleagues
HR. Then, your collages will look at you just like a monster, they will refuse to accept you as a member of theirs, and they will keep distance as will as they can. They refuse to talk with you, eat with you, even breathe with you. That mains you are discriminated. According to a survey,80% of WOFE(外商独资企业）discriminate the Hepatitis B carriers when they recruit new menbers in China.But they don't do that in other countries.
The government has promulgated a lot of laws to forbid discrimination towards Hepatitis B carriers in work-place in the past few years. But the officials of MOH refuse to cancel the HBsAG check. So the discrimination becomes more and more seriousness, and the situation of the carriers becomes worse and worse. We just want a job like another people, we want to live just like a human being. But, where is the paradise of the carriers.
Hope you can pay lots of attention to the situation of the carriers in China. We hope that MOH of China will cancel the Hepatitis B check when we have a pre-employment medical check-up.

Best regards,

A Hepatitis B carrier of China
                  ~~ from

作者: jackylee123 时间: 2009-8-31 00:41

多谢以上的各位哈，呵呵，确实写了没咋检查，错的挺多，见笑了

作者: 亭亭如盖矣 时间: 2009-8-31 00:41

Life at any cost

[ 本帖最后由亭亭如盖矣于 2009-8-31 00:48 编辑 ]

作者: 锄头 时间: 2009-8-31 10:06

原帖由 寻找活路 于 2009-8-30 23:49 发表
写的非常好，自叹不如，
"these sufferers frequently face discrimination all aspects of life and work"是否应加个from，改为"these sufferers frequently face discrimination from all aspects of life and work"

“ ...

见笑了！都是抄拼的。

在google里搜索了一下，没有 face discrimination from 这个用法。但这里加个介词会更好理解。 face discrimination in all aspects of 这个用法有。
admission 在字典里的意思是“n.准许进(加)入，许可；入场费(卷)；承认”的意思，accept 为 “接(领,收)受；承认,同意；相信”，前者更强烈，后者也能表达出意思，为避免重复，可交叉使用。

第3个修改赞同，更具体一些。

另外，信里是不是还充实一些关于乙肝病毒携带者艰难谋生的细节。西方人看东西更在意数据，事实。“可能，大概”之类的东西他们不太信服！
还有，提醒搂住，Hepatitis B 表示乙型肝炎，没有Hepatitis B carrier 说法，乙肝病毒携带者为 carrier of Hepatitis B virtus, 或直接用 HBV carrier.

作者: 受治疗的鱼 时间: 2009-8-31 12:28 标题: 我也给改了改

楼主的感情表达得非常真挚。有的地方用词和语法给修改了一下，仅供参考。
你提供的邮箱，是不是再确认一下？他们都不是管中国事务的。只有这个好像还沾边。总的来说楼主写得不错，希望更多的人能象你这样！
WHO Regional Office for the Western Pacific
Manila, Philippines
Peter Cordingley
[email protected]

Dear Madam/ Sir,

I was born in China in 1970s. Because of the poor medical treatment condition in China at that time, I was infected as a Hepatitis B Virus (HBV) carrier by the contaminated medical instruments.
As you know, there are 120,000,000 people who are HBV carriers in China. But you may not know that those people are discriminated because they are HBV carriers. Almost all companies in China, even the government departments, require the candidates to provide the results of their physical exams which must include HBV 5-item test (HBsAg, HBsAb, HBeAg, HBeAb, HBcAb). If you are HBsAg positive, you will lose your job. The companies will not give offer to you. Countless similar things happen every day. Even if you are lucky to get an offer, your medical privacy will be told to all of your colleagues by HR. Then, your colleagues will look at you just like a monster because they won’t accept you as a member. And they will keep distance as far as they can. They refuse to talk with you and have meals with you. You are discriminated!
According to a survey, 80% of foreign companies discriminate the HBV carriers when they recruit new members in China. However they don't do the similar thing in other countries.
The government has enacted a lot of laws to forbid discrimination regarding HBV carriers in work-place in the past few years. But because the officials of MOH refuse to cancel the HBV 5-item test, the discrimination becomes more and more serious and the situation of the carriers becomes worse and worse. We just want a job like other people. We just want to live like a human being.

Hope you can pay attention to the situation of HBV carriers in China. We call on MOH of China to cancel the HBV 5-item test when we have a pre-employment medical exam.

Best regards,

A HBV carrier of China

作者: candyzxz 时间: 2009-8-31 12:32

都是些高手，，，我已经放了两三年了，，很迟钝了。。。

作者: jackylee123 时间: 2009-8-31 12:47

世界卫生组织有中国的办事处，但我想中国的办事处估计会跟卫生部沆瀣一气，所以就想发给外国的，毕竟外面的和尚会念经嘛！

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